The Crack Prompt Game
by Mistress Penelopye
Summary: A series os silly prompt induced ficlets complied into one. Featuring many Bleach characters and rated for languange and content. Hints at Yaoi situations. Enjoy the madness. discontinued
1. Chapter 1

Pirate

_SexyPirate6: Arrgh~_

_Ichigo15: OMG STFU_

_SexyPirate6: U STFU_

_Ichiog15: U_

Ichigo dropped his head to the desk and closed his eyes as he groaned. Grimmjow could not be serious about this. No. He was totally yanking his chain. There was no way in hell _Grimmjow Jaegerjaques _was going to go through with this; right?

_SexyPirate6: Where'd ya go?_

_Ichigo15: You killed me. Shut up nao_

_SexyPirate6: Fuck u. And I no wut yer thinkin_

_Ichigo15: No u don't! Get out of my head ass hole_

_Ichig15: Asshole*_

_SexyPirate6: Yer thinkin' I won't do it_

_Ichigo15: I know you wont_

_SexyPirate6: Fuck you I won't_

_Ichiog15: Why did you change ur screen name idiot?_

_SexyPirate6: Because it's hot and i can_

_Ichigo15: idiot_

Grimmjow smirked at his laptop and stretched backwards in his chair. He was so doing this shit tomorrow. And he'd look amazing doing it too.

_Ichigo15: you wont do it_

_SexyPirate6: …_

_Ichigo15: You don't even have time to get a costume_

_SexyPirate6: ever heard of improvising?_

_Ichigo15: fuck_

_SexyPirate6: Oh we will. tomorrow_

_Ichigo15: *groans*_

_SexyPirate6: youll do that too :D_

_Ichiog15: I gotta go, my dads yelling at me_

_SexyPirate6: dream about me_

_Ichigo15: NO!_

_SexyPirate6: You so will *mwhahahahahah*_

_Ichigo15: ….._

_Ichigo15: whatever. see ya_

_SexyPirate6: yeah ya will_

_Ichigo15: *rolls eyes* LATER GRIMMJOW *idiot*_

_Ichigo15 is offline 1:10 am IMs are delivered when the buddy signs in. Send Ichigo15 a text message_

Grimmjow signed out as well and closed his laptop, standing and stretching once again before walking over to his overstuffed closet to find something that could serve as a decent costume for the next day.

* * *

Ichigo was waiting in front of the school for Grimmjow, who was late_ again_. Ichigo smirked, thinking that Grimmjow had actually chickened out of the impromptu dare and looked at the time on his phone again. The bells would be chiming soon and he'd have to get to class. Ichigo shoved the phone back in his pocket and sighed, cracking his neck before looking back in the direction that Grimmjow usually walked to school in. And then his mouth dropped open and his heart stopped in his chest. _Holy fucking shit he did it!_

Grimmjow sauntered up to Ichigo with a wide grin on his face and placed both hands on his scantily clad hips. Ichigo's eyes roamed over the other young man's form slowly and he tried desperately to stop them from bugging out of his head. On top of a still wild mane of light blue hair sat a wide brimmed black pirate hat, complete with fluffy white feather. Further down Grimmjow had chosen a tight fitting stripped half shirt that barely covered his nipples and left him mostly exposed from the waist up. Tighter than tight black boy shorts ridged in red left little to the imagination and the red lacing down the front only drew more attention to the fact that they barely fit Grimmjow. Lean muscled thighs were bare to the elements down to Grimmjow's knees where the black knee-high leather stiletto heels finished the package off nicely.

Grimmjow cocked a hip. "Toldja I'd do it. And I look fuckin' hot too."

"You… you have hairy legs." was the only thing that Ichigo could say before he burst into laughter and pointed at Grimmjow's belly. "You didn't even get rid of your happy trial!"

Grimmjow cocked his hips to the other side. "You didn't say I had to _shave_."

"You can't do _drag_ and be _hairy_ Grimmjow!" Ichigo stuttered through his snickering. "Oh God, it hurts." he said, clutching his stomach.

"So what, I still win. And now you have to do it with me."

Ichigo snorted and tried to cover it with more laughter.

"Mr. Jaegerjaques what in the world are you wearing to school!"

Both Grimmjow and Ichigo jumped and turned to see the irate teacher approaching them.

"I thought it was spirit day." Grimmjow lied smoothly and a thin black eyebrow rose in irritation.

"This school's mascot is not a pirate nor a cross-dressing one at that, _Mr. _Jaegerjaques."

Grimmjow smirked. "Well shit. Guess I fucked up then, huh, _Mr._ Kuchiki?"

"Principal's office. Now."

Ichigo was biting his lip so hard he was surprised it wasn't bleeding and the bells finally began to chime.

"I suggest you get to class, Kurosaki. Or I'll suspend you as well just for associating with this idiot."

Ichigo nodded and walked off to class, but not before pulling out his phone and catching a highly posed for picture of Grimmjow in pirate drag.

* * *

_Ichigo15: one question_

_SexyPirate6: shoot_

_Ichigo15: Where the hell did you get that shirt?_

_SexyPirate6: …. I have my sources_

_Ichigo15: …_

_SexyPirate6: What?_

_Ichigo15: you… own that shirt. don't you?_

_SexyPirate6: … maybe_

_Ichiog15: and the boots?_

_SexyPirate6: Hey, lets not be talking about my costume. you owe me sex!_

_Ichiog15: *snort* idiot_

END

* * *

RenjiNnoitra

Baking

Special brownies

"Who told you to try and burn the house down asshole?" Renji screamed and Nnoitra glared at him.

"Yeah 'cos I totally fucking did this one purpose fucktard."

"Jesu…. Look at the stove! And you burnt the fucking brownies man." Renji placed a hand on top of his head and tried to think about how much money had just been wasted because of Nnoitra.

"I _told_ you I didn't do it on purpose. And it ain't like they're inedible."

Renji looked up at the stupidly tall man and stuck a finger in his chest. "Fine! _You_ eat the black bricks that _used_ to be pot brownies."

Nnoitra rolled a single eye and reached inside the stove for the pan, immediately yanking his hand back with a hiss.

"Ow. Fuckin' hot."

Renji rolled his eyes. "How much batter did you eat?"

"None!"

"Liar!"

Nnoitra grumbled and bent again, this time grabbing a potholder before reaching in the still slightly smoky stove and pulling out a pan of near black brownies.

"Fuckin' A dude. That's like… a hundred bucks."

Nnoitra snorted and dropped the pan on the counter. "Yer math's wrong, stoner."

"Fuck you."

Nnoitra grabbed a knife from the block and looked at it for a moment, seeing his reflection and noticing that he still had chocolate on his face. He frowned and wiped it away, licking his fingers before shoving the knife into the heart of the black mess. It stuck with a dull thud and stood up straight when Nnoitra let go and the man couldn't help but chuckle.

"Heh. The brownies have great strength." he muttered and Renji shot him a glare.

"You did eat the batter." he grumbled.

"Shut up. It's not that bad."

Nnoitra reached for the handle of the knife and tried to pull it out, only managing to take the entire contents of the pan with it. Nnoitra's lips twitched before he cleared his throat and looked down and Renji, shoving the blackened brick in Renji's face.

"Wanna bite?"

"Retard, get that out of my face."

Nnoitra lifted it and opened his mouth, biting down experimentally and finding that it was going to be a bit of a task. He frowned at the thing as he pulled it away and walked to the refrigerator, reaching inside and pulling out a half empty gallon of milk. Still holding the skewered brownies Nnoitra then walked to the cupboard that held the glasses and poured himself a tall glass of milk. He looked at the brick again and sighed before smashing it against the counter as hard as he could.

"WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING?"

"I'm breaking it up." Nnoitra said calmly before doing it again.

"You're gonna break the counter idiot!"

A small piece broke off and Nnoitra reached for it, dropping it in the glass of milk that had somehow stayed upright while Nnoitra had been pounding away on the counter. Nnoitra set the brownies and knife down and picked up the glass, swirling it a few times before dipping his long fingers inside and pulling out what looked like a soggy piece of coal. Renji's lip curled as he watched the other man shove the whole piece in his mouth and chew experimentally. There was a loud crunch and Nnoitra stopped moving his mouth before trying again.

"'fot 'at 'ad." he said, dribbling a little milk down his chin and wiping it away with the back of his hand.

Renji continued to frown but grabbed a smaller piece and yanked the glass of milk out of Nnoitra's hand. He dunked the piece in the milk before putting it in his mouth and chewing far more carefully than Nnoitra had at first. He managed to swallow it and his lip curled again as he set the glass back on the counter.

"That's disgusting."

Nnoitra snorted. "Yeah, but it'll still work."

"You are not allowed in my kitchen ever again."

Nnoitra nodded. "I hate cooking."

Renji rolled his eyes and grabbed the knife, placing the entire brownie back in the pan and pouring the rest of the milk over it. Nnoitra raised an eyebrow and nodded.

"Niiiiiice."

Renji smirked. "That's because I'm smarter than you."

Nnoitra snorted. "No yer not. I'm just too stoned from all that batter I had."

Renji flipped him off and took the pan out to the living room so they could finish their video game.

"I knew you were a liar."

* * *

Cowtipping

Shinji Urahara

"Moo."

"Shh, you'll scare the cows."

Urahara sighed and shook his head. "Won't pushing them over while their sleeping scare them quite a bit?"

Shinji thought for a moment. "Probably."

"So why worry about scaring them _now_?" Urahara asked.

Shinji sighed. "Are we doing this or not?"

Urahara flipped out his fan and hid behind it. "My, you get so angry when barely provoked."

"Shh!."

Shinji hopped the flimsy fence and started towards three cows that were closest to him. He'd always wanted to try this. Urahara was right behind him, silent as a cat. When they approached the first cow Shinji reached out and touched it, rubbing his hand over the course hairs of the beasts' side. He turned to Urahara.

"Okay help me tip it."

"Oh no. You only said you wanted me to come with you. I'd rather not… touch it."

Shinji frowned. "I asked you to come _help_ me."

Urahara smiled from behind his suddenly materialized fan. "My dear Shinji you are quite wrong. What you said was, and I quote, 'Kisuke, come with me to tip cows tonight.'"

Shinji rolled his eyes and sighed. "Fine." he huffed and placed both hands on the side of the creature.

Shinji pushed with all his might, grunting and gritting his teeth, but nothing happened. He stopped, stood up straight, and took a deep breath before trying again.

"It's not working." Urahara put in unhelpfully.

"No shit." Shinji snapped.

"Try doing it a different way."

Shinji gave Urahara a look of incredulity before he turned his body and leaned back against the cow. He tried usuing his legs for leverage this time and still the thing refused to budge.

"This… this one's broken."

Urahara snorted and hid his entire face behind the fan this time.

Shinji scowled. "I'm trying another one."

Three cows later and none of them tipped, Shinji sweating from the effort, the blond threw his hands up in the air and growled.

"Fuck this!"

Urahara snickered and the other blond slapped his shoulder.

"Whoever said that this was possible is a fucking liar." Shinji grumbled as the two walked back to the fence.

Urahara nodded. "Perhaps next time if you have another set of hands…."

Shinji only glared at him before hopping the fence and stomping back home, making sure to leave Urahara in his dust. Stupid cows.

END

* * *

Snow

Chibi Grimm, Ichi, Nnoi and Szayel

Featuring Unohona Sensei

"Snow is cold." Nnoitra, the tallest kid in class, said as he sneered at he white stuff falling from the sky.

Unohona sensei nodded indulgently at him and smiled. "Yes it is, Nnoitra. Do you know why?"

Grimmjow jumped up and raised his hand high in the air. "Can we play outside?"

"Wait until Nnoitra answers the question first please."

Nnoitra's brow furrowed as he thought. A small, pink haired boy cleared his throat and smirked.

"It's because it starts out as water way up in the sky and then it freezes so it falls as snow."

Unohona sensei looked at Szayel and smiled, though the atmosphere around her started to change.

"Thank you but Nnoitra was asked the question. Perhaps in the future you can wait your turn, Szayel."

All four boys seemed to cower before the woman smiled, this time a real smile, and clapped her hands in front of her.

"Now who wants to play in the snow?"

END

* * *

Fangirl #1: You know what would be a totally crack pairing?

Fangirl #2: Lots?

Fangirl 3#: Oh! I know! Byakuya and Kenpach-

Fangirls #1 and #2: EW!

Fangirl #3: What? I can totally see it happening.

Fangirl #2: No. Just… no.

Fangirl #1: *nods*

Fangirl #3: Fine *crosses arms* What would _you_ pick as a crack paring?

Fangirl #2: Aizen and Yamamoto.

Fangirls #1 and #3: FAIL!

Fangirl #1: I'd pick… Hanataro and Ukitake.

Fangirls #2 and #3: ….

Fangirl #1: What? Fine, how about Hanataro and Kenpachi?

Fangirl #3: What is with you and Hanataro?

Fangirl #1: He's soooooo cute~~~

END

* * *

"Did… did you read it?" Grimmjow asked and Ichigo nodded.

"Yeah. I wish I hadn't."

"What the hell is it with these chicks? Why does everyone have to… do… stuff like… _THAT_?"

Ichigo shrugged and shook his head. "I will _never _get girls."

Shiro started cackling from in front of the computer and turned to look at both men. "Oh shit. You'll never guess what _you two_ just did with a lollipop!"

Grimmjow and Ichigo looked at each other and shivered violently.

"I don't think I want to know." Ichigo said, looking a little green.

"Me either."

Shiro snorted and grinned mischievously. "You stuck it in-"

"AH! NO SHUT UP!" Grimmjow shouted.

"IN ICHIGO'S ASS AND THEN PULLED IT OUT AND-"

"SHUT THE FUCK UP ASSHOLE!" Ichigo yelled.

Shiro stuck out his tongue and flicked it in the air a few times. "Licked it."

"Who wrote this shit? I'll hunt them down and rip them limb from limb!"

Ichigo groaned and sank to his bed. "I'm… canceling the internet."

END

* * *

A/N Because we all go a little mad sometimes~ You all can blame Storm for the first part, Neko for the second, Nox for the third, Running and Luna for the fourth, and the rest on myself. I asked everyone for prompts and this happened. may do it again because it was pretty damn fun ;p

Hope you all enjoy~

~Penny

Grimmjow's pirate ensemble can be seen here: http : / meromo . files . wordpress . com / 2006 / 12 / story - book - 09050 - sexy - pirate . jpg


	2. Chapter 2

Ichigo Picture Prompt - Storm

*This was a picture that Storm drew of Ichigo sad and crying with a stethoscope in his hand when she thought she had missed the LS Show today. IDK If she'll post it at all.*

A strong hand clapped over Ichigo's shoulder and squeezed for comfort. Ichigo stared down at the lifeless form on the gurney and shook his head.

"You did the best you could." a soft voice whispered and announced the time of death.

"C'mon, scrub up." the hand left his shoulder and bodies began to file out of the room. Ichigo continued to stare, mouth open and edges pulled down in a frown under his thin paper mask.

"But…."

It didn't make sense. He'd done everything, _everything_, he'd been taught. He'd followed procedure to the T. He'd pushed and clamped and sewed and for what? Ichigo yanked off the mask from his face and turned out of the room, pulling off his bloody gown and tossing it forcefully into the biohazard trashcan near the scrub sinks. He washed mechanically and stepped out in the hallway, taking a deep breath and inhaling the antiseptic scent he had become so familiar with since he had started working in this hospital. He never thought it was something he could become sick of, but each day that passed proved him wrong.

"I need some fresh air." he said to whoever exited the room behind him and he turned to the emergency exits.

The cool morning air hit him hard with a forceful wind as he opened the door to the small smoking area and he closed his eyes a moment just to breathe again. Even if it smelled like an ashtray out here it was far better than bleach and death. He crossed a small patch of grass to the opposite side of the area and leaned back against the wall of the building. He pulled the stethoscope from around his neck as he slid down to the ground, his knees bending and his elbows resting on top of them.

"Fuck." he whispered, letting his head hang forward a bit as he shook it. "_Fuck_."

His hands curled around the stethoscope as his head fell back against the wall and he felt the prick of tears at his eyes. He squeezed them shut tight and grit his teeth to try and stop them, but it was too late. A silent sob shook his body and he grit his teeth harder.

"Fuck."

It never got any easier. Never. No matter how many times someone told him it would get easier to handle as the years passed, as the patients seemed to blur together, it hurt him down to his soul when he wasn't able to save them. No matter how many times he was told he wouldn't be able to do it Ichigo always held on to that hope that he would, in the end, triumph over sickness and most of all, over death. It was a hard blow, failure.

Ichigo took a deep breath and reached up to wipe the tears from his face before he stood again and brushed a bit of dirt from his scrubs. He cracked his neck, sniffed hard and checked his face once more for any tears before taking one more deep breath and heading back inside. He may have lost this one, but he would do his best for the next. It was his job, after all. Pushing open the door, Ichigo inhaled the scent of the hospital and sighed.

"Kurosaki? We need you in emergency!"

Ichigo nodded and followed the nurse to his next patient. And he _would_ save this one. He had to.

* * *

*This is Penny playing with the speech recognition program on her computer. I speak into a pic and the program writes what I say… sort of…*

I feel like I'm in like some SCI Fi start right thing and oh god no I can do that and if an SP wide as are not available now use this to be able to do that he pieced crap a a a a a a a arms was to be able to say a selective at it since and its poster race what I wrote but it's not selected to the ice at oak a rap sees this I sit at oak oh my god of a a comes with every other and if it come out of every windows bring it would be just comes with a computer and Tenney speech fail yet in and sit tight Nnoi didn I sent an E and and E why can't you spell it because your piece of shit than a Alright spell it no Okay that sell today want If only eyes of the unending is gonna do is type what I say I would like no periods or, as were exclamation point to anything it is suppose to type what I say so I guess I will speak the next story if someone would give me a propped but not you cheer oved the breath because of this ocular omitted its vice Ichigo was said pay detailed Ichi room and that she died on the operating table and , oh Deja, with the Asia if Ta a large he it doesn't make sense because the word program is stupid and an if All he could scrap all he could have a Ice cream as a prompt ? The ice cream in lieu open those of the props yukata testing made a a a a And I love how I laugh it going gay AAA slicked the best last ever and 00 when Nnoi shame as he does The ice cream in lieu opens those of the props yukata testing made to have it would take the eight when to a K no exit gate GAY if a 10 to distracted by design of a taken out if that's what she said a O the okay say abide a penny's voice and all got as penny ways are we saying no end to the ticks looked in their Owen it takes looked in gear were smaller Roddick noises coming from Shinji underneath an elite or a a a a a Owens so posting it like this and points okay to make reading is weird things funny things to say all say it is a computer and then we'll take a break they will go back to actually reading stories if not writing stories right to name right and no rating right T De of abandoned what god I'm not too busy that

*at this point the program stopped working completely and the LS Show got to hear Penny cuss out her computer.*

It or they might say that tickle leaner of a a a a a a if okay I got it to work again yet if the if of a funny things for me to say to his apparently I a can break and I just had the olive branch to insert like 500 times and the awesome sauce that if if that's what does the yes it sound like that if the hell net bowl nipple the aid of all that energy needed scenario all say that but I'm not saying it tensed and stiff like it's the last last time you you gonna have a date or gonna hafta it date not date date DICK a a a a a a if Moon Dick Dick Dick moaned tick tick tick apparently have talk if all of this program good stead of WHEN a spell of winks like PENIS if once upon a time there was little penis in his name was Grimmjow or lets the Grimmjow on some and a a a a an who who everyone goes on sale in the apparently are all going on sale of a a a I just completely faced planted on his Dick cook wide as they keep capitalizing debt homes no less it boobs BOOBS boobs and what's important word? And,. A penis is a better word clock is a wonderful word out to the almighty debt to clock is a wonderful word is it got a ceo seek a cock and can

It's reason a computer is listening to me than talk makes you think over eastern had come from those in there like seven people here want clear something up about what's going on between flames and capture you and all that crowd to lean flames volume two is not stopping I am not going to repeat that if the tween flames volume two the what I'd show us started is continuing and clear on that now than it move at how he reviews I had to say it's not stop it why would I stop it did I say I was in the stop it and if I got up and to a just as soon as I was gonna stop that unlike with a walk a eyes just started writing it Ya but I have two and half to delete the first one because yeah I like a big sued if an and is reading program is really crappy nice if the right T right T to WRITING ID of my fucking god I'm not getting sued I would get sued if I try to publish a fan fiction now and

And not and

If the sickening I still hear the music new characters yes the plot is still pretty much the same a lot of it is the same as it was my story to begin west of but obviously certain things had to change the OK go pee wee be the oved the name of the book and the name of the books that will be published in July issue is called capture you so a a a C a PTURE space why are you that is not what I said if owe the reading program of a speech recognition program I believe it's called it should it comes with fight every kid in our summer to search for and if this fun to play with at least when is your birthday are a July ish what the yeah I if the okay so what we doing here if and ice cream fucking innocent bystander to the loop as a prop shooters are giving me as I am I correct and a a a a a a a a bowling of the book and Hoke slow as do some brainstorming here and an so is there any particularly that a killer people be want in this or is it just random bleach characters and something of all the ice cream fucking into by standards and a loop food but if the food but L U BE Noah but oh my god that it I need a break when on Tuesday and will go back to writing because of wrong I will get you started trying to write something with speaking in this program screwing up so much so the button gave me lie 8510 minutes to stretch and my staff and I will be back and we will get with the ice cream fucking bystanders look prompting some get sound good-guy no more pretty voice penny is getting distracted by the crappy pronunciation of all for words should II wouldn back in like 5-10 minutes of a tight time figure by defeating full

* * *

Ice Cream(Ari), Fucking Innocent Bystanders (Ruby) Lube (Also Ruby)

Random

"Oh, oh, get me a swirl!" Shinji said, jumping up and down like he were five.

Ichigo rolled his eyes and added a chocolate/vanilla swirl cone to the order.

"You owe me six bucks."

Shinji pouted. "But… I'm broke today."

"Yer always broke." Ichigo grumbled as he handed over his debit card.

_Only when yer buyin'_, Shinji thought to himself as he continued to dance around and wait for his ice cream. He looked over his shoulder at the table they were supposed to be returning to and smiled at the man waiting for them. Nnoi, grouchy bear that he was that afternoon, glared at him and flipped him the bird. Shinji giggled and returned the favor before turning back to the counter and speaking low to Ichigo.

"You think we got him enough food?" he asked and Ichigo nodded.

"I sure as hell hope so. I'm broke now."

"Oh c'mon Ichi, yer not broke. You're too cheap."

"So what if I live cheap! There's nothing wrong with being frugal."

Shinji giggled and reached for the tray that was set on the counter for them while Ichigo reached for the two ice cream cones. As soon as the tray of eight cheese burgers was set in front of Nnoi he dove in like he hadn't eaten in days. Ichigo curled his lip and licked at his cone.

"At least chew it, fuck." he said and Nnoi ignored him.

Shinji's ling tongue flicked out and caught a bit of cream before curling it back into his mouth. Ichigo frowned at him and shook his head. Everything Shinji did seemed so deliberately sexual it was ridiculous. Ichigo sucked on the top of his cone and looked around the crowded food court to distract himself from the gorgefest across the table.

"Hey? Are you bringing anyone to that show tonight?" Shinji asked, bringing Ichigo's attention back to him.

He shrugged. "I hadn't thought about it, really. Can't I go alone?"

"NO!"

"No."

Both Shinji and Nnoi spoke at the same time, Shinji shouting and looking at him as if he had lost his mind and Nnoi immediately returning to his almost gone food.

"Why not?"

"Because it's a sex party, idiot!" Shinji said far too loudly and Ichigo blushed.

"Shut up."

Shinji rolled his eyes and licked at his ice cream again. "Oh grow up."

"Can't… can't I just hook up _there_?" Ichigo asked and Shinji shook his head.

"Nope. It's B.Y.O.D."

At Ichigo's frown Nnoi cleared his throat and spoke around half a mouthful of burger.

"Bring Your Own Dick."

Shinji nodded. "You can switch at the party, but you have to bring someone. It's a rule."

Ichigo sighed and leaned back in his chair, licking his ice cream again and looking back through the crowd.

"Just pick someone here. It shouldn't be a problem." Shinji suggested and Ichigo scowled.

"I can't just–"

"EVIL!" Shinji suddenly shouted and Ichigo frowned.

"…what?"

"The word 'can't'. It's evil. Don't' say it."

Ichigo sighed and rolled his eyes.

"Hey?"

Both Shinji and Ichigo looked up to see that Nnoi was finished with his food and was watching them with a frown.

"Just pick the next guy the walks by and let's go. We got a long fuckin' drive."

"I ca–" Ichigo stopped at the look Shinji threw at him and sighed. "Just… anyone?"

Shinji and Nnoi grinned at the same time and nodded. Ichigo sighed, closed his eyes and licked his ice cream once more before he stood and opened them. Blue hair attached to a gorgeous face and body walked closer and Ichigo straightened his spine. He could do this, no big deal. He was just asking someone to a party. Of course the guy could end up being a homophobe and would probably try and hit him, but whatever. Shinji giggled softly behind Ichigo and stood silently. The blue haired man came close enough for Ichigo to speak to him, their eye met and locked, but before Ichigo could say anything he was pushed forward towards the stranger and together they fell into a tangled heap on the ground.

"Ah, what the fuck?" the blue haired man yelled and struggled to push Ichigo off him.

"I am so sorry." Ichigo apologized.

"Ichi! He's got a bag from LUBE!"

Ichigo's eyes went wide and he looked back down into the strangers' eyes. _Shit_. A few days before Ichigo had been dared to kiss anyone that shopped at the infamous store. Ichigo Kurosaki never backed down from a dare. So, with that in mind, Ichigo pinned the other man's shoulders to the ground, licked his lips lightly before dipping his head and kissing the man. Ichigo had completely expected to be immediately thrown off but the opposite happened. Strong arms wrapped around Ichigo and brought him to rest completely on top of the man below him. A hot tongue slipped between Ichigo's parted lips and he felt himself melt into the kiss. _Holy shit!_ Strong hands traced down Ichigo's back before curling to cup his ass and lord help him he couldn't stop himself. He rolled his hips and ground his almost half hard member into the strangers' thigh. The man arched up into him and slipped a hand between the backs of Ichigo's legs, running his fingers hard against the seam in Ichigo's jeans.

"Hey. Hey! You can't do that here!" someone yelled, bringing the two back to the real world.

Ichigo jerked back and looked into a pair of wide blue eyes.

"Oh shit, Ichi. Run, they're bringing in the big boys." Shinji giggled as he and Nnoi stood and began making their way to the exit.

"Shit." Ichigo breathed and pushed himself off the man. "Sorry." he said before taking off at a run. He wasn't in the mood to get arrested that day.

The stranger glared and stood, fixing his clothes and telling the security guards to fuck off when they asked him to follow them. He shoved the bag he had been holding in his back pocket and looked down at the front of his shirt, seeing the ice cream now soaking his shirt.

"Fuckin'…." he trailed off, looking up at the three men rushing out the food court exit.

"Sir…."

"I said fuck off!" he said before following the three outside. At the very least the guy who'd attacked him owed him a new shirt.

* * *

What, what, in the butt (Ritsu)

"Where the _hell_ did you get those?" Grimmjow asked incredulously when Ichigo entered the room wearing only skimpy pair of tight red underwear.

"What?"

Grimmjow frowned. "Really?"

"What the hell are you talking about?"

Grimmjow stood and grabbed Ichigo by the shoulders, leading him to the tall mirror in his room ad turning him so that his back faced it.

"Look at what it says."

Ichigo looked back over his shoulder and saw the words "WHAT WHAT" printed across his ass. He frowned.

"What…?"

"Have you not heard the song?" Grimmjow asked and Ichigo shook his head.

With a wide grin Grimmjow raced over to his laptop and searched what he was looking for on Youtube, giggling –GIGGLING– the entire time.

"What the hell is wrong with you?" Ichigo asked and Grimmjow snorted.

"What, what?"

Ichigo rolled his eyes and sighed. Grimmjow found what he was looking for and clicked on the video, turning the volume up on his laptop and turning to Ichigo with a manic grin as a song began to play.

_I said: "What what, in the butt"  
I said: "What what, in the butt"  
I said: "What what, in the butt"  
I said: "What what, in the butt"_

_You wanna do it in my butt, in my butt?_  
_You wanna do it in my butt, in my butt?_  
_You wanna do it in my butt, in my butt?_  
_Let's do it in the butt,_  
_OKAY!_

"WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT?" Ichigo shrieked and Grimmjow crumpled to the floor holding his sides in laughter.

"Ah… ah… ah, shit." Grimmjow cried and Ichigo quickly turned off the song.

"What is that?"

"Hey. Yer the one wearing invitational underwear."

"FUCK YOU!"

Grimmjow snorted and wiped at his eyes. "Oh man. Where did you get those?"

Ichigo's face paled and his eyes went wide.

"Sh… Shinji said… he said these would be good for tonight…."

Grimmjow bit his lip hard and snorted again as he tried to hold back another round of laughter.

"Oh man. Remind me to thank him tomorrow." he said

Ichigo frowned and crossed is arms over his chest. "Fine. And then afterwards I'll kill him."

Grimmjow snickered and reached for Ichigo, leading him to the waiting bed. "Whatever. Now take those stupid things off and let me put it in yer butt."

* * *

A/N Another fantabulous game Duckies! Hope you all enjoyed this and the ridiculouslness of my speech program :D Thanks to those that came for this and put up with my incessant giggling and cursing :D Such a combo ;p

~Penny


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